imaginethebutts:

"what did you do over summer?" “disappoint my parents"

(Source: earthdad, via classylikeabowtie)

stardustacolyte:

Don’t buy a girl flowers. Flowers die. Buy her a dragon.

(via unicornbatman)

mahimahi713:

cannibals-insomnia:

I’m putting my cat on a vegan diet.

"how could you do that! that’s animal abuse"

No it’s not. a vegan-only diet is actually very healthy for them.

"cats are carnivores. they need to eat meat"

I know. that’s why it’s a vegan-only diet. I feed them only the finest vegans I can find.

I was about to go off on you

(via gentlemens-brigade)

folei:

smokly:

instawillgraham:

people get so caught up on one small thing they don’t like, like their nose or something

things like salt and baking powder go into a cake and those things are gross alone but the cake is pretty damn delicious

this is the most confidence boosting text post i’ve ever read

bless you

(via thest0rysofuckingfar)

liompayne:

"what did u do all day?"

image

(Source: swedishpapa, via 3rn3stukazzz666)